Getting Trent Bridge Test Match tickets

On past experience it was going to be a struggle. The objective was to secure 2 tickets for Ben and C, and also 2 for a friend, for Friday 7 August 2015.

The box office and online sales opened at 9:30 and we were ready and waiting: C with 2 browsers open (the PC and her iPad), and also dialling her mobile, and me on the landline.

C's immediately in two web queues with (microscopically filled) progress bars stretching across the pages. I've entered the box office number into the phone's memory after two "The number you called is busy" messages to speed up the re-dial process. Nevertheless all I'm getting is "Bleep - The other person has cleared" all the time with the odd "The number you have called is busy" thrown in just to relieve the boredom.

This goes on for 5 or 10 minutes and then things get weird.

"You have reached the Vodaphone Voicemail service for 07622842850. Please leave a message"

I don't think so! And any message I'm likely to leave right now is not going to be printable.

Then there are some more "Bleep - cleared" and "Number busy" messages until "You have reached the audio-conferencing service. Please enter your pass-code"! While it might be fun to take part in an audio conference about which I have no knowledge ("No - we really need to paradigm shift left-field on this one to wrongside any loss of stakeholder bandwidth"), I'm not about to start guessing pass-codes, and anyway I want the test match box office!

The next interesting answer I get, now some 20 minutes into repetitive redialling, is "Adrian Fowler is not available. Please leave a message or call him on 07982748572"! Then more "Bleep/cleared"s. Then somebody's O2 Messaging Service. Then "This is the Portsmouth Guildhall Ticket Line. Can I help you?"! Then "You have reached the Alston Conferencing Service, Please enter your PIN code"!

At one point I do get to hear a live voice - for all I know it's an undertaker in Glasgow - but we're cut off before I can even say hello.

Finally after 30 minutes of dialling I hear the words I am now longing for "This is the Trent Bridge Ticket Hotline". Result!

By now C's progress bars are about two-thirds of the way across. As I hand her the phone she wonders whether to drop out of her web queues. "NO!!!!" I cry. Bizarrely C seems to think that the progress bars are moving from right to left and her position is therefore getting worse!

Clutching the phone she relays the message to me "Please hold - you are 48th in the queue"!!!

48th can't be that bad can it?

It takes another 40 minutes to progress to 12th place but the PC browser is suddenly actually showing a booking page! C's quickly on the job and soon looking at the booking page.

"Shall I put the phone down now?" "NO!!!!" I cry.

She can get 2 tickets for the Friday but not 4 together! So the fallback is the Thursday. Sure enough there are 4 together and she selects the seats and gets through to the payment page. Enters name, address, credit card details, and clicks 'pay'. Nothing happens. No response. We wait. Still nothing. So has the payment gone through or not?

Finally after 60 minutes in the phone queue C gets an operator who is able to ascertain that the internet payment did not go to completion but who can secure for her the 4 tickets for Thursday 6th. The phone call cost £6.52.

If you're a member of Trent Bridge Frigging Cricket Club you get priority booking weeks before the general public. Looks like C will have to join if she wants tickets for internationals in future. Or make friends with someone who is.