The way we were (2)

It wasn't all a bed of roses in the flat. We argued, probably most of our Saturday shopping trips, about whether to get the best cuts of bacon or the cheapest, whether to buy margarine (which the Riv family had always had at home) or more expensive butter (which C was used to), what to get for our meals. We didn't have the hassle of home ownership, but ownership of an old banger with rust holes in the boot and footwell which breaks down every time it rains is pretty stressful. It's no joke when money is a big factor, as it always is for many families.

Then there are the hundred ways, large and small, that you have to compromise - i.e. change your behaviour - when you share your living space with somebody else. There were rows and at least one storming off (C), followed by the decapitation of several daffodils (mea culpa). Single, you can please yourself; as part of a couple you have to suppress self, or at least bits of yourself. A significant challenge - until you measure it against parenthood!

I reckon it's probably a couple of years before you stop bumping up against stuff with a new partner; after that you've worked out most of it. And, of course, (IMHO) it's well worth the effort. To this day I don't know if love means you will overcome the difficulties or if you truly don't know until you've gone through it.

In 1975 C graduated and got a job in Nottingham. With two salaries life was easier ...but then, bored silly with my work, I jacked in the job to do an MSc in the hope of finding something more interesting. Poor, long-suffering, C! But, as always, she was a star. (Actually it took my friend Kevin to say 'If you don't like the job, why don't you do something about it?' before I took the plunge.)

In the event I only studied for 9 months because the perfect job came up, around Easter time. I left Loughborough Uni and graduated the following year instead. 1977 was a big year - I started my new job, we got our first mortgage, we visited Israel ...and The Stranglers, The Sex Pistols, The Clash, and The Jam all released their first albums. It was a pretty fine (some say the best) year for Grateful Dead gigs as well, though I did not know that until much, much later.