Holiday time

It is the day before a trip to Center Parcs. The living room is unpleasantly cold (as it has been in winter ever since C ripped out the carpet in favour of bare floorboards, leaving us at the mercy of the freezing air in the cellar). I am at the tail end of a low-grade upper-respiratory-tract infection, which rather than fading away gracefully appears to be turning into a full-blown cold. I am trying to avoid using my right arm, which has been painful for 3 weeks or so; I think it's what is known as tennis elbow. Although it has not rained today there is more on the way. Never before have I anticipated a holiday with so little relish.

This is C's 60th birthday trip and she has organised everything. I know I'll enjoy spending time with our sons, daughters-in-law, and grandsons ...but just can't get enthusiastic about spending 5 days in the Sherwood Forest Center Parcs. I've been before, for goodness sake. Several times. The last of which was the occasion of the infamous Squash Rage incident of 2005. The pine trees are nice enough but it isn't like being in a broadleaf wood. There's the 99.9% likelihood of 4 nights in single beds. The swimming is free, but I don't enjoy swimming.

The kitchen floor is covered with tinned and dried food. The fridge filled to bursting with the ingredients for 4 day's meals for 6 adults and 2 infants. The bedroom floor cluttered with sporting attire, trousers, jumpers, shirts, undies, socks, cameras, tennis and badminton rackets, balls and shuttles, essential gadgets. To look at the hallway you would think we were moving house.

To this we have to add coats, shoes, and all the things you need to survive for several days if you are deprived of your own home (detergent, dishcloth, scourer, washing up liquid, toiletries, bog rolls, tissues, nail scissors, garlic crusher, ketchup, salt and pepper, kitchen roll, herbs, tea, coffee, breakfast cereal, clingfilm, foil, chargers for phones, laptop, iPad, ibuprofen, plasters ...at least one of which is going to be left behind). Somehow I have to pack all of this, C's birthday cake, and 4 adults, into the Astra tomorrow. Oh joy. At least it's only a 30 minute drive...